Comments on: Men’s Monday: where DO nice guys finish? http://cluebyfour.com/2008/10/mens-monday-where-do-nice-guys-finish/ Mon, 05 Sep 2011 08:28:26 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0.4 By: michelle of bleeding espresso http://cluebyfour.com/2008/10/mens-monday-where-do-nice-guys-finish/comment-page-1/#comment-151 michelle of bleeding espresso Mon, 06 Oct 2008 16:59:22 +0000 http://cluebyfour.com/?p=191#comment-151 Well there's certainly a lot of irresponsibility in every generation--unfortunately men have been leaving their families forever. I know quite a few good, nice, responsible guys, so maybe I and most my friends are just lucky (one friend wasn't so lucky and married (and then divorced) a major DB). Well there’s certainly a lot of irresponsibility in every generation–unfortunately men have been leaving their families forever. I know quite a few good, nice, responsible guys, so maybe I and most my friends are just lucky (one friend wasn’t so lucky and married (and then divorced) a major DB).

]]> By: Paul Daniel Ash http://cluebyfour.com/2008/10/mens-monday-where-do-nice-guys-finish/comment-page-1/#comment-150 Paul Daniel Ash Mon, 06 Oct 2008 15:48:22 +0000 http://cluebyfour.com/?p=191#comment-150 yeeaahh... the book, though, seems to sort of point towards the OPPOSITE conclusion. And, for whatever it's worth, my own non-scientific, anecdotal, take-it-with-a-grain-of-salt experience kind of leads me to believe there's a higher prevalence of douchebaggery among this age cohort. J's baby-daddy, for instance: irresponsible, Peter Pan, could give a shit about his kid (I'm a bit biased there). Hadn't thought about the cycle of violence aspect. I'm sure that's very real. yeeaahh… the book, though, seems to sort of point towards the OPPOSITE conclusion. And, for whatever it’s worth, my own non-scientific, anecdotal, take-it-with-a-grain-of-salt experience kind of leads me to believe there’s a higher prevalence of douchebaggery among this age cohort. J’s baby-daddy, for instance: irresponsible, Peter Pan, could give a shit about his kid (I’m a bit biased there).

Hadn’t thought about the cycle of violence aspect. I’m sure that’s very real.

]]> By: michelle of bleeding espresso http://cluebyfour.com/2008/10/mens-monday-where-do-nice-guys-finish/comment-page-1/#comment-149 michelle of bleeding espresso Mon, 06 Oct 2008 15:37:01 +0000 http://cluebyfour.com/?p=191#comment-149 When you consider how many of today's 20, 30, and 40-something women grew up in abusive or otherwise, let's say, non-model, homes, it's not surprising that at least some of them would be drawn to that. The Cycle of Violence is very real. But I agree with you that it's up to men to develop confidence and express it without threat/danger/violence--and the best place to learn that is at home, so dads have an extra special role in this process, both with sons in teaching them how to behave and with daughters in showing them how they should be treated by men. Now can dads do and teach what they, themselves may not have been taught growing up? Many do, thank goodness, which is why I think there probably *are* more "nice" guys today than 20 years ago. At least I hope so. When you consider how many of today’s 20, 30, and 40-something women grew up in abusive or otherwise, let’s say, non-model, homes, it’s not surprising that at least some of them would be drawn to that. The Cycle of Violence is very real.

But I agree with you that it’s up to men to develop confidence and express it without threat/danger/violence–and the best place to learn that is at home, so dads have an extra special role in this process, both with sons in teaching them how to behave and with daughters in showing them how they should be treated by men.

Now can dads do and teach what they, themselves may not have been taught growing up? Many do, thank goodness, which is why I think there probably *are* more “nice” guys today than 20 years ago. At least I hope so.

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