Goodwin was arrested and charged with disorderly conduct.

Well, the pressures of a daily deadline, plus lingering exhaustion and aversion from writing a 50,006-word novel draft in November… and on top of that meeting a woman, falling in love and pretty much full-time cohabitating have played hell with my blogging schedule.

I’m planning on resurrecting this here blog so I can write more about subjects I have a genuine interest in, for two reasons: first, the not-making-jack-a-dull-boy angle, and secondly, the hopes that I can build up a portfolio so I can get paid to write about what I’m interested in. To that end, I’m crash studying atmospheric science and basic hydrodynamics so I can understand and write about climate issues. I’m doing dharma talks with my meditation group, and also beginning to think about societal theories I’ve been gestating over a long, politico-geek existence. So expect this hodge-podge of ideas and notes to get even hodgier and podgier in the coming weeks and months.

It should be interesting. At least to me.

Writing too much and living too large to make a real blog post… so in lieu of that, I just figured I’d do my part to spread the word about the new jun-ken-po, taking rock-paper-scissors to the next level:

How to play:

Monkey

• Monkey fools Ninja
• Monkey wrenches Robot

Robot

• Robot zaps Ninja
• Robot crushes Zombie

Pirate

• Pirate drowns Robot
• Pirate skewers Monkey

Ninja

• Ninja chops Pirate
• Ninja decapitates Zombie

Zombie

• Zombie eats Pirate
• Zombie savages Monkey

(I’m seven hours into a twenty-eight hour flight — it’s quarter to two in the morning, body-time, so I’m more than a little loopy; let’s see how much sense this makes…)

Bodhidharma: Self-nature is subtle and mysterious. In the realm of the inexplicable Dharma, not preaching a single word is called the Precept of Not Lying.

Dogen Zenji: The Dharma Wheel turns from the beginning. There is neither surplus nor lack. The whole universe is moistened with nectar, and the truth is ready to harvest.

Robert Chotan Gyoun Roshi:  I take up the way of not speaking falsely. Speaking falsely is also killing, and specifically, killing the Dharma. The lie is set up to defend the idea of a fixed entity, a self image, a concept, or an institution. I want to be known as warm and compassionate, so I deny that I was cruel, even though somebody got hurt. Sometimes I must lie to protect someone or large numbers of people, animals, plants and things from getting hurt, or I believe I must. What is the big picture? “Buddha nature pervades the whole universe.”

In the same way that ” no stealing” is a version of “no killing,” the precept “no lying” is a version of the precepts that precede it. Lying is, as Aitken Roshi explains, killing the Dharma. It’s also stealing the truth from others – and from yourself – and taking what should be shared out of an immature selfishness.

We lie to protect the self… sometimes for personal gain, to take advantage of people, or to avoid looking stupid. Whatever the specific justification, bullshitting is another kind of violence.

When you lie to take something from someone else, something you don’t deserve – money, or property, or confidence – you do grave harm. When you lie to pretend you are someone you’re not, you lay mortar on the bricks of your own prison.

The Third Grave Precept: I Take Up the Way of Not Misusing Sex.

Bodhidharma: Self-nature is subtle and mysterious. In the realm of the ungilded Dharma, not creating a veneer of attachment is called the Precept of Not Misusing Sex.

Dogen Zenji: The Three Wheels are pure and clear. When you have nothing to desire, you follow the way of all Buddhas.

Robert Chotan Gyoun Aitken Roshi:  Sexual intercourse is misused when it is an addiction rather than the peak experience of love between a committed couple. All the Precepts point to addictive behaviour, stealing, lying, using alcohol or drugs, slandering, even killing. Addiction reveals a lack of confidence, a need for something from others, the interdependence of all things inverted for just one being. It is no good condemning promiscuity as immoral behaviour, for it is only a symptom of general immaturity. Like anybody else, the addict needs guidance to find a way to forget the self.

Recovery is America’s secular religion. It has orthodoxy and orthopraxis, congregations and a whole social structure that surrounds it. One thing I’ve found throughout the years is that the people I trusted the most were people on some sort of spiritual path. Problem was – as with a lot of my evangelical Christian friends – that spiritual path had sides I strongly disagreed with. I have a number of friends in recovery, working the Steps, and they’re similarly people I can trust. And, at least so far, I haven’t found a problem with the program.

Addiction – the compulsion to overuse alcohol, drugs, food, indebtedness… and, yeah, sex,  - is a problem of epidemic proportions in the West. Sex is maybe the most insidious of these, because it’s so closely bound up with – and so can be confused with – love, one of our highest emotions.

Aitken Roshi refers to misusing sex as taking something should be shared… that it’s a kind of pathological selfishness. And if there’s a drug more powerful than romantic love – or a rush more reliably satisfying than a good, screaming orgasm – I haven’t found it yet. And not for lack of trying.

I’ve grubbed around on the addictive side of sexuality, and done myself (not to mention innocent others) a lot of harm. It’s a big part of the reason why I am choosing to remain solo for the foreseeable future, and work on my spiritual growth.  I’d gotten this immense feeling of validation from someone opening themselves up to me, and it became a buzz I chased after. And, you know, fuck doing that kind of harm. I’m not a fighter or a killer, but I did acts of violence just the same.

It’s an intense renunciation. If I can see the emptiness of attachment in this area, it might – it just might – make it easier to realize in other areas as well.

I mean, a brother can hope…

The Second Grave Precept: I Take Up the Way of Not Stealing.

Bodhidharma: Self-nature is subtle and mysterious. In the realm of the unattainable Dharma, not having thoughts of gaining is called the Precept of Not Stealing.

Dogen Zenji: The self and things of the world are just as they are. The gate of emancipation is open.

Robert Chotan Gyoun Aitken Roshi:  This and all the subsequent Precepts are variants of the first, “Not Killing”. “I take up the way of not stealing” means I will respect the order of things – the paramita of harmony.

Peasants who occupy unused private land in Central America are demonstrating their view of the fundamental order. “We are taking what is rightfully ours”, they say. The landlords say they are stealing. The question is, which view kills? Which view gives life?

It’s obvious to the point of triviality to say that we live in a materialistic society… it’s like saying water is wet. No duh. Usually what’s meant is that people put a high value on the material goods we accumulate: the car, the house, the 128-inch plasma TV that you need SPF 30 to watch in your living room. The philosophy of materialism, though, goes one step further and says that only physical things are real. Love, friendship, karma, the loyalty of a fine dog: these are thought to be inconsequential. Reality is what you can hold in your hand.

The Buddhist atomists of the 7th century held a different view. They imagined atoms as points in space made of pure energy, always changing. (Some modern views of physics would agree.)  ”‘Everything is evanescent,’ … says the Buddhist, because there is no stuff,” was how the Russian scholar Fyodor Ippolitovich Shcherbatskoy would put it many centuries later.

No stuff.

So what if our whole conception of reality – that the things we surround ourselves with and the castles we build to protect them are what’s really real – is exactly wrong? How would that affect the way we relate to all this stuff? Would we feel OK having so much of it here in the developed world when there are people who haven’t got enough to even live?

The whole idea of “enough” is one that’s totally gotten lost in our world. In the last century, an economist by the name of E.F. Schumacher (not a Buddhist) wrote a book called Small is Beautiful, which described what he called “Buddhist economics.” Central to his concept of a just economic system was the idea that, “since consumption is merely a means to human well-being, the aim should be to obtain the maximum of well-being with the minimum of consumption.” The economic system of the world as it is celebrates consumption, and “growth” as a good in and of itself.

So which view kills? Which view gives life?

I’m planning to write about each of the Ten Grave Precepts of Zen Buddhism. Not sure if I’ll do one after the other or take breaks in between, but now that I write as a job, it’s more vital than ever that I write about what is important to me to me and not just what I’m told to write about. Stay tuned.

The First Grave Precept: I Take Up the Way of Not Killing.

Bodhidharma: Self-nature is subtle and mysterious. In the realm of the everlasting Dharma, not giving rise to the ideal of killing is called the Precept of Not Killing.

Dogen Zenji: The Buddha seed grows in accordance with not taking life. Transmit the life of Buddha’s wisdom and do not kill.

Robert Chotan Gyoun Aitken Roshi: This First Precept echoes the first of our Great Vows for All, “Though the many beings are numberless, I vow to save them.” The Precept is specific and negative in wording; the Vow is universal and positive. The emphasis in the Precept is upon protection and nurturing: the emphasis in the Vow is upon spiritual encouragement. Both are expressions of perfections: both enhance the process of perfection.

Usually, nurturing a specific being is clearly also a matter of saving the universe, but sometimes options of abortion, spraying bugs, and trapping rats seem to offer ways to keep the world organism thinned and healthy. Such issues can become agonizingly difficult, and it is tempting to make decisions on the basis of persuasive arguments that are over-simple and reductive. They are koans and must be faced with a clear sense of proportion.

Decisions about the quantitatively larger issue of war and peace have been clarified by the unprecedented technological capacity for killing which science has achieved. There is no longer an argument for a “just war”, or for “mutually assured deterence”. Incredibly murderous weapons are prepared to destroy all human life and almost all animal and plant life. The koan here is how to speak out appropriately and take action that is instructive in opposition to such weapons and their so-called rationale.

Less obvious, but no less dangerous, is the probability of biological disaster through the destruction of forests, meadows, wetlands, lakes, rivers, seas, and the air. I vow to moderate my lifestyle and reduce its demands, and to encourage you to do the same, for the protection of all beings in their infinite variety.

The way of non-violence is a challenging one. It’s pretty damn near impossible to live in this world without doing harm to other beings. This isn’t to say that the effort of becoming aware of that harm, and doing what you can to limit and reverse it, isn’t a worthwhile or in fact a necessary effort. But you gotta have perspective. There’s a tendency to see the Vows and Precepts as absolutes. All concepts are relative, so the idea of a rule that covers all circumstances kind of falls apart when you look at it, like pulling on the loose end of a granny knot.

I’m not a vegetarian. I feel great when I eat meat. But I struggle with it. I do avoid factory-raised flesh food, for reasons of compassion and also health. However, I try to maintain awareness that this tasty, tasty strip of bacon was once an intelligent, sensitive being (I’ve met pigs, yo: they’re cool). Is it inherently more compassionate, though, to let animals live and instead slaughter vegetables? And if so, why? Are we so sure that, because we can’t perceive the suffering of plants, that they don’t in fact suffer?

Aitken Roshi’s call to moderate our lifestyles is, without question of doubt, the correct one. An America that ate only organic produce from Whole Foods would still be an America that burned massive amounts of fossil fuels, not to mention piling mountains of solid waste on our earth and dumping rivers of polluted effluents in our water.

Taking up the way of not killing cannot begin and end with avoiding war and the murder of animals. And the fact that it calls for a radical, radical change in the way our entire society lives is not a reason to do nothing. We take up this way with everything we do. There is a reason why it is the First.

Started writing for ModMyi today… just a couple little blurbs to get my hand in, get used to the interface. I’ll work on a more interesting piece or two tomorrow. (UPDATE: well, I would have done, but I’m now being sent as crack on-the-spot reporter to the fucking Apple Store on Boylston Street, to wait in line with countless other sleepless geeks at oh-dark-thirty tomorrow morning… or is that later today?)

I also started CBT today… trying to get my space – and life – in a more organized state. I’m supposed to spend an hour and twenty minutes each night filing and organizing. If I finish early, I’m to meditate for the rest of the time. Which is good… because I also started a ninety-day commit-to-sit today.

Didn’t really plan today to be the day of starting shit, but it’s how things shook out.

For some Italian friends…

“Rivolte per causa di mancanza del cibo. Proteste contro le imposte. Scioperi. Tassi di disoccupazione elevati. Tutti si caratterizzano il nostro futuro economico, secondo il nostro prossimo ospite. Gerald Celente, presidente del Trends Research Institute ha previsto con precisione un elenco di questioni: crisi economica, il crollo della borsa nel 1989, il boom Starbucks, e così via e via. L’elenco delle previsioni si è avverata. Adesso prevede una cosa si chiama Obamageddon. Gerald, che cosa significa questo? ”

“Be ‘, ciò che stiamo guardando è davvero molto più grande di un collasso economico. Stiamo guardando il declino dell’impero d’America. E in tutta onestà – Sono un ateo politico che non si piega ai politici né si inginocchia nè si genuflette ai loro altari – ci guardiamo ai fatti. Questo è stato a lungo nel fare, ma adesso viene più accelerato… con questi programmi di pacchetti di stimolo, i salvataggi buyout, le acquisizioni di governo. In ogni caso, la gente si chiede che sia il nazionalismo, che sia il socialismo. La fusione tra lo Stato e dei poteri aziendali secondo Mussolini – che ne è a conoscenza – si chiama il fascismo. Quindi quello che stiamo guardando è la disgregazione dell’impero. Questa era l’impero imprenditoriale del mondo, ma ora è diventato un luogo in cui alcune banche sono considerati “too big to fail” (troppo grandi per lasciar fallire). Le politiche in corso di realizzazione non riusceranno: guardate i numeri della disoccupazione. L’amministrazione Obama ha detto – prima del pacchetto di stimolo – che la disoccupazione avrebbe colpito l’8% nel 2009. E che stava andando a picco pari al 9% nel 2010. Beh voilà – è già al 9,5%. Se io avessi un record così, che io sarei fuori dal mercato.”

“Gerald, vorrei leggere il nostro pubblico le altre cose che si prevedono per l’anno 2012. Lei dice che vedremo nelle tendopoli, vedremo centri commerciale vuoti, vedremo scioperi generali dovunque, vedremo i sequestri dei padroni. Vedremo lotte tra gang. Le sue previsioni precise sono state in passato, come Clayton ha detto. Ma il New York Times ha scritto che le sue previsioni sono fondamentalmente la pornografia di pessimismo. Perché è il tuo modo di vedere in modo più tetre di chiunque altro?”

“Perché si stanno vendendo l’oppio dei ottimismo. Fiducia. Speranza. Questo è quello che stanno vendendo. Loro non stanno vendendo una realtà. C’è il mondo dei media, c’è il mondo politico, c’è peraltro il mondo reale. Guardate queste proteste contro le imposte — questo è qualcosa che abbiamo previsto quando Bush era presidente. Abbiamo detto che sta per accadere. Questo è solo l’inizio. Storia è fatta. Sono un ragazzo del Bronx… ho un modo di dire che quando la gente perde tutto quello che hanno non hanno nulla più da perdere. E la gente sta cominciando a perdere non solo il loro lavoro, stanno perdendo le loro pensioni, perdendo il loro futuro. Si potrebbe cominciare a vedere le proteste degli studenti – che cosa faranno gli studenti dopo si laurearanno?”

“Posso immaginare che gli spettatori si chiedono ‘Su che cosa sta basando questo? Ciò che è Gerald basando questo?” Si guarda un sacco di numeri e indicatori economici per fare questa ricerca, giusto?”

“Infatti, ed anche le attualità globali. Le attualità di oggi formano le tendenze future. Oggi abbiamo sentito l’India ha ora aderito con la Russia e la Cina nel parlare di una nuova moneta di riserva. Tutti vogliono un salvataggio di dollari. Lui (riferisce a Obama) non può stampare moneta dal nulla, basato sul nulla, e producendo praticamente nulla, senza distruggere l’economia.”

“Be’ Gerald, odiamo di lasciare la gente con la visione dell’Apocalisse. Qual è la soluzione? È stati calcolati tutti questi numeri e ha guardato tutte queste tendenze. Qual è la soluzione per fare andare la trend verso l’alto.”

“Prima di tutto, il governo deve restare fuori di imprese private e interrotto l’assunzione di posizioni azionarie in esso. L’idea che le imprese sono “too big to fail” troppo grandi per fallire è un mucchio di sciocchezze. Seguendo i soldi e vedere dove andava, queste aziende non sono stati troppo grande per fallire… a meno che non pensi che la loro madre è migliore della tua madre. E l’idea che non dovrebbero mancare è una bugia. I monopoli stanno uccidendo la “Main street” (via principale). ”

“Beh Gerald Celente, sai l’ultima volta che abbiamo avuto sul nostro mostrare i nostri spettatori si sono fatto un crash del vostro sito web. I telespettatori possono ottenere ulteriori informazioni sul Trends Research Institute. Per tutto quello che ha fatto Gerald Le ringraziamo così tanto e grazie per averci seguito. Thank you. “

All the evil karma, ever created by me since of old;
on account of my beginningless greed, hatred and ignorance;
born of my conduct, speech and thought;
I now confess openly and fully.

We used to chant those words at the beginning of Sunday Zen services at my old teacher Robert Aitken Roshi’s place on the edge of a lava flow by the sea in Kaimu, Hawai’i. This morning I’m sitting at my desk by the edge of the Bromley-Heath housing project in Jamaica Plain, Boston… in tropical heat and humidity, trying to make sense of it all.

Most people think of karma – if they think of it at all – as “what comes around goes around.” I’m nowhere near enlightened or wise enough to say that’s wrong or right. For my own life, I kind of think of karma as the immune system of the universe. The universe doesn’t really give a shit about punishment or reward… its action is to constantly restore balance, it seems to me. So catching karmic hell is more or less the allergy of the universe trying to sneeze your shit out of its system.

The way I feel that karma works is that you get the lessons you need. What I’m finding as I get older and pay better attention to what’s going on in my life, is that I need less and less violence to achieve a karmic punch in the grille. When I was twenty, karma slammed me through the windshield of a 1973 Super Beetle, giving me a concussion, a broken tibia and fibula, and a six-inch gash in my left cheek. Nowadays, just paying attention and taking responsibility for my choices provides copious psychic ass-kicking. Harder in its own way, but at least it leaves fewer marks on my body.

I’ve been dicking around with relationships since my wife and I split up way the hell back in 2003. One would think that I could figure out grown-up stuff in less time than it takes for a newborn to turn into a first grader, but I’m a slow-ass learner. Anyway I am, at long last and with conscious awareness, taking myself out of the casual dating game. The details are too private for the world wide interwebs, but I acknowledge before friends, family and random Google spiderbots that I’m more than a bit of a selfish bastard, and that I need to bench myself until I can show up with full integrity.

I did a really good meditation/shooting-the-philosophical-shit retreat this weekend, about which I’ll write more in the days to come. I’m still digesting the things that came up and trying to integrate the lessons. But I’m settling down. That much is clear.

Yesterday I unpacked my travel toiletries kit for the first time in – literally – months. I have been doing a lot of moving around. Time to just stay in one place. Jah-make-ya Plain: my dirty little urban island in the sun.

It’s good to be home.