So, apparently the waters off the Horn of Africa are seething with pirates. That’s right: pirates. I don’t know why I assumed this was something we left behind in the 18th century, but it’s big business in the Gulf of Aden, with Somali buccaneers being chased by Indian warships, and the US Navy, which has the Fifth Fleet there in Bahrain, going “whaddaya want us to do?”

Seriously: does the Navy do anything any more? When was the last time there was battleship combat that didn’t involve little plastic pegs on a game board? Go catch some pirates, ya bums!

The Indians just scored a major coup by, and I am not making this up, sinking the pirates’ mother ship. But a Saudi supertanker got hijacked by pirates last week and are holding it for ransom in – again, this is for real – the Pirate City of Eyl, in Somalia.

We can thank US policy for that, as for so many other wonderful things in the world. After the moderate Islamic Courts Union provided some stability in war-torn Mogadishu, the US decided it couldn’t have a government called “The Islamic Courts Union,” and so attacked with its Ethiopian allies, plunging the country back into chaos. Hello, pirates! And hello, of course, rape victims being stoned to death for adultery.

For every Germany or Japan where democracy was brought at the point of a gun, there are like seven thousand counter-examples. What’s the definition of insanity again?

If you’re Massachusetts State Senator Dianne Wilkerson: it’s in your bra.

I spent a long weekend in the American heartland with my oldest and closest guy friends. It was rejuvenating to spend time with men that have meant so much to me for so long – as well as just being out in the country, with clean air, deep woods, and wildlife. And guns. And bonfires.

My buddy Herb was greatly unsettled by a DVD that he received in the mail about Islam and the so-called War on the West. For those of you that haven’t heard about this (as I hadn’t until I caught a story on CNN at the airport), some shadowy organization is mailing out 28 million anti-Islam DVDs to people in swing states. Some observers note an uptick of attacks against Muslims since the DVD’s release, and it’s hard to ignore the likelihood that the mailing is intended to push swing voters towards McCain/Palin.

This is not the first time this video has been pushed at election time. It got aired on Fox News just before the 2006 election. Conservative activist David Horowitz did a college tour last year where he spoke and showed the video.

The backers of the video – the Endowment for Middle East Truth (EMET – the Hebrew word for “truth”), attempt to say that they are not trying to achieve any sort of goal with this curiously-timed massive mass mailing: “Well, this is in no way an effort to influence the election. The goal is to help educate the American public about radical Islam’s war with the West.”

As scary as these right-wingers are in the majority, it’s the prospect of them feeling like an oppressed minority that sometimes keeps me up at night…

Once again, I couldn’t watch the debates, because the painful awkwardness of the candidates made me feel all icky inside. But the weird passive-aggressive refusal to shake Barack Obama’s hand afterwards seemed really over-the-top:

“Don’t touch me! Here, shake the woman’s hand, you damn tax increasing troop hating terror loving liberal!”

I don’t want this guy to have the nuclear codes. Really.

According to NASA some unknown crap is growing on the Phoenix Mars Lander. Spots that were seen in a photograph three months ago are larger and have moved.

Scientists speculate that “specks of salt may have landed on the strut and began attracting atmospheric moisture that freezes and accumulates.” Was not aware that salt moved under its own power on Mars.

I think my own theory – that it is a steel-eating space fungus that will soon destroy the Lander and, in fact, all life on Earth – makes about as much sense.