Okay.. this is the first edition of what I hope will be a semi-demi-hemi-regular feature here on the new blog: Men’s Monday. I am trying to start a dialogue at a level that I’m just not seeing out there a lot – men willing to take on the many challenges of being a guy in the 21st century… and not whine about it or be macho and act like it’s all about sucking it up. Because in my experience, most men (this one included) tend to go too far to one or the other extreme.

I want to talk about “stepping up.” I grew up without a strong father figure, and me and my best friend sort of raised each other up. Through osmosis from the men around us we idealized, and (probably most importantly) through movies and books, we developed this ethos that a guy is there for his buddies and the women in his life, does what he says he’s going to do, and treats everybody with respect. It didn’t hurt that we were both raised by tough single moms.

I’m not saying I think we were all that unique. And I’m definitely not saying I always live up to the ideal. But I do see a lot of the new-age soft type and the strong silent psychopath out there, and not a lot in between.

There’s one significant exception to this rule. I see a lot of men with strong character in communities of faith, especially (but of course not exclusively) among young evangelical Christians. Problem is… I’m not religious. Respect it, but I’ve been there, done that, doesn’t work for me.

So here’s my quandary, and my challenge: what is it about religious belief that tends to make guys more accountable and willingness to step up… and what can non-religious guys take from it that might help put some steel in our spines?